A DIFFERNT CHILD
A different child,
People notice
There's a special glow around you
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and you
In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is the life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel,
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again".

Carlee's First Christmas!

Carlee's First Christmas!
What a special time for us.
Carlee had so many people to go see this Christmas. So many people who love her. We are so thankfull!

Good Bye 2009

What a wonderful year it has been.

A year ago today I took a pregnancy test, it was negative...or at least thats what it looked like at first. I tossed it into the trash, knowing it was really too early to take anyway. Hours later I peeped into the trash at the negative stick and to my surprise I saw the slightest hint of a positive sign! I couldn't believe my eyes. Could I really be pregnant? Was 2009 going to be our year? It felt right, I had butterflies. The excitement was hard to contain and so were the fears.

We kept the news to ourselves and celebrated the New Year by going to First Night, a night full of events and fun in downtown Springfield. I remember it was a freezing cold night. I couldn't wait to get back home to get to bed and wake up to take another test. Sure enough, on New Years Day we had another positive pregnancy test. This time, it was clear...I was pregnant!!!!!!!

2009 was our year, finally we had good news! We were expecting a healthy little girl in September. I thought at any moment the rug would be pulled out from under me and the docters would have the "bad news" waiting. I was wrong, she came September 2...healthy and strong. She is my girl, my treasure. I am so proud of her. So, to me she is a year old today. Amazing, isn't it? Happy Birthday baby girl, we love you so much!

Carlee is 3 Months Old!

Wow! I can't believe it, Carlee is 3 months old today.

I am simply in love with my little angel. She is my world!

Carlee has grown so much and is doing so many things. She has always tried to sit up, making this cute little face when she is doing it. Now she will hold my fingers and pull herself up and sit with a little help. She smiles and coos, silently laughs and the other night she chuckled! She will reach out to touch things purposefully, like her bumper or the couch. I am so proud of her and everything she is.

Happy 3 month Birthday baby girl!

Just For Fun

Carlee Nicole

10 weeks old
Just the two of us!

She was very sleepy, poor thing has such a hard time staying asleep.

In Memory of Caelyn and Bella & in Honor of Madelyn

June 27, 2007

Caelyn's 2nd Birthday

We Miss you baby girl.

When Carlee was about one month old we took her to visit Caelyn's grave. Two years ago I couldn't imagine life could be good again. As I look at my sweet Carlee Iam amazed by her, can't believe she is here and well. She is my special girl, my joy, my life. In no way does she replace our Caelyn and Bella, they will always hold a special place in our hearts. We will never take her for granted and will always thank God for her. I feel like the most blessed person in the world. The last few years of our lives have been so hard and so trying, but God has brought good to our trials.

He has brought wonderful friends into our lives who have been through similar situations. He has shown us true love through our babies. He has shown us how precious life is and how quickly life can be taken away and to live every day to the fullest, enjoy every moment.

I have recently learned of another slosangel, Caelyn and Bella's newest playmate in Heaven. Madelyn was born August 29 of this year. She lived only a few hours. To learn more about this sweet little girl visit http://heathermohr.wordpress.com/ .

Carlee is now asleep in my arms while I type wth one hand. She is my sweetheart.

Two Months Old

November? Could it really be November? Yes, it really truly is. Wow, my baby girl is two months old! She is growing so big. 13 pounds already! She is smiling and cooing. Her best times are in the morning after a good long sleep. She is sleeping much better at night.

Carlee with Mommy

&

Carlee with Daddy

We took her to see a GI specialist yesterday for her reflux. He basically said to keep doing what we were doing and if she doesn't get better in a month to call him. The next step would be surgery and if she can out grow it we do NOT want surgery! She is on the strongest medicine, Prevacid two times a day and it seems to be helping, although she still cries the majority of the day and is having "episodes" of screaming at least once a day. Those "episodes" have decreased in length and frequency, which is why I believe the prevacid might be working. I guess it is even hard for a practiced doctor to determine what is wrong with her. He said it could also be colic on top of the AR causing her to cry. He explained to us that colic does not always mean just 3 hours a day, it could mean all day.

Here are some cute pictures of Miss Carlee...

Cutie Pie


Honey Bunny

Cherish Every Moment

Because it goes by so fast!

Acid Reflux

Carlee One Month Old!

Well it has been five weeks and I think we have finally gotten Carlee diagnosed correctly. She has acid reflux. It is so clear to me now, why didn't I see it before? I feel horrible that for five weeks she has been in pain, crying constantly, trying to tell us something was wrong. I knew something wasn't right the first night in the hospital when she cried all night long. I remember hearing her spit up in her mouth and swallow it (silent reflux)...that was the beginning of it all. I know babies cry, but she was crying excessively and unconrolably with big tears, her voice became hoarse, she coughed often, and had hiccups 3-4 times a day. She has almost all of the symptoms except weight loss and an adversion to eating. Infact she wants to eat more when she is in pain and then it makes her worse, she is also in the 90th % for her weight. So hopefully the medicene we started her on will start to work, although I worry she isn't keeping enough down...she keeps spitting up when I give it to her. This morning though has already been different. She actually laid in my lap for a while looking around without crying!!!!!! Then she ate and fell asleep without crying for 2 hours afterward wanting more to eat. I hope this is the beginning of the healing process. Thanks again April for your advice, we love you!

Welcome to Mommyhood

One Month Old Today!

My has the time flown. I really can't believe she is a month old, pretty soon I will be saying I can't believe she is a year and then I will blink and she will be in kindergarten. It has been a whirlwind, this past month. Mommyhood isn't always easy, infact it is very trying at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Carlee is my world and I am so proud to be her mommy. We've struggled with lots of crying due to belly aches, gas, overeating, acid reflux, colic...I'm not really sure. Whatever it is I hope it goes away soon, it's so hard to have your baby cry (scream) for 2-4 hours at a time, not being able to console her. I've cute dairy out of my diet, tried mylicon drops and now we are on gripe water. She seems to like taking it, but I haven't noticed a drastic difference...maybe the crying is a little better. I know infants cry, but a mom is supposed to be able to console her baby and when that isn't achieved then it can be very upsetting for both of us. My doctor told me to make her wait at least 2 hrs between feedings. She is gaining weight like crazy and we think she interprets any belly discomfort into hunger...so I was feeding her and making the belly aches worse. This strategy is working some, but when she is screaming and nursing is the ONLY thing that will console her...I sometimes give in (esp at 2am). She is definately thriving! Last monday when I took her to the doctor she weighed 10lb 2oz already!

Carlee's first time to visit Grandma Connie's

Pretty in Pink

2 weeks old

Carlee and Daddy

Here are some of the things Carlee is doing...

She's holding her head steady when held at our shoulder, gazing into our eyes, looking around the room and at contrasting colors, tracking some slow moving objects, and many many more things. Best of all she smiled purposefully a few times for Daddy! Not for me though, only for her Daddy. I got to see one of them though and it was real and purposefull. How exciting. Pretty soon she will be flashing them all the time, giggling and cooing.

Daddy is wrapped around her finger!

Isn't She Lovely

Isn't She Lovely

Isn't She Wonderful

Isn't She Lovely

Made From Love

Carlee's first photoshoot

By Summar Reed

September 13, 2009

11 Days old

Carlee Nicole Has Arrived!

September 2, 2009

Weighing 7lb 11oz and 20 inches long, Carlee Nicole Osbourn entered this world at 10:20pm on Wednesday September the 2nd. I thought this day would never arrive and then all of the sudden I found myself pushing! I was induced around 9 that morning, my water broke at about 6:30pm and then started pushing at 10:00pm. I wondered if she might wait until the 3rd, then all of the sudden she was here! We are so excited. So many people came to the hospital for her delivery and waited all day to see her for just a minute or two. Her cousin Severen was so excited to see her, I've never heard him giggle so much! He cried and cried when they had to leave. Carlee had many visitors the next two days, so many people came to see her. She is so loved and so lucky. We are so blessed to have her. She is the prettiest thing we have ever seen! Thank you Lord for our precious gift!

Daddy & Carlee

It's the final countdown!

Induction Time

September 2, 2009 looks like the big day! My doctor is having me come in for an inducement Wednesday, the 2nd. It may take all day, you just never know. Her birthday may actually be the 3rd. The reason for the inducement is mainly due to the diabetes and the fact that she is getting big. According to Dr. Allison's measurements, she weighed 7lb 9oz (+ or -1lb) last Tuesday. So, it is possible that if I went on and delivered on my due date she could weight 9.5lb. It is much safer to induce and get her out at a smaller weight, than to risk her being too big and getting stuck in the canal or something worse.

We spent our last Saturday as a couple without a baby to look after by doing pretty much the normal. I worked a few hours this morning answering the phone (which I do a few hours a week for a little $) and Carless went to town did some errands. After Carless got back home he mowed the lawn, I must say it looks pretty good, while I cleaned the white fence that lines our deck. It has been years since we cleaned it, I am ashamed to say. So, it took a lot of work. Carless finished that lawn and got out the power sprayer to help me out. It looks so much better! I'm tired, but glad we got that done before are hands are too full to do much ;).

So, the countdown is 4 more days till we go to the hospital! I can't believe it is finally here! It is somewhat surreal. I have been waiting for this day, it seems like forever. Now it is almost here. My next blog will be about the big day, can't wait to show her off.

The Plan For Now!

One of Our Baby Showers

36 Weeks along!

The plan for now is to induce a little early if I don't go into spontaneous labor on my own. Dr. Allison will measure Carlee next week to see how big she is getting. If she isn't too big, the induction date will most likely be on September 3rd or 4th. If she gets near 10lb, we will have to do a c-section. Hopefully she is not too big and the induction goes well or I go into labor on my own. I thought this day would never get here and now we are so close! I can't believe that most likely we will have our "little one" in our arms in about two weeks. I've got her bag packed and ready to go, although I have had it ready for a while, but keep changing out outfits.

The baby shower was so nice, thank you all for making it so special for us. One thing is for sure, Carlee will not need anymore clothes until the cold season comes :). She is one lucky girl to have so many people who love and care for her. We are so blessed to have her and all of our loved ones who have prayed and supported us through this pregnancy. Thank you so much.

Update on the Adoption & Foster Care Process

I just wanted to write a quick blog about the adoption and foster care process Carless and I were going through. As some of you may remember Carless and I went through foster care classes through MBCH and finished some time in the Spring. We began the process in hopes to adopt a certain girl who we knew was already in foster care and at the time there was a good chance she would be adopted out. Well, the main goal for fostering is to reunite with the bioparents. It looks like that will be the case with this little girl we were hoping to get. It is all in God's hands. I still don't know the outcome. We were asked at one point to become the foster parents of this little girl, regardless of whether we would end up adopting her or just fostering her. It was something we struggled with. When we started this process, #1 we were not expecting another baby and #2 it looked like she would be adopted out. Now the tables have turned and I again learned we are not the ones in control, that there is a better plan out there for all of us. Her bio-parents have been doing what they need to get her back and we have a healthy little girl of our own on the way. I was thankful that we didn't have to make the decision to foster her or not. I felt like getting her around the same time as Carlee's due date would be too much on me and not fair to either one of them.
As far as the foster care license goes, Carless and I have put that on hold. If we were certified we would be getting calls and have to turn the down. Right now we are trying to focus on Carlee, getting ready for her arrival. After she comes and we decide it is the right thing to do, then we might go ahead and finish our certification so that we can do respite care. Respite care is basically baby sitting for foster parents. That may be something we can handle along with an infant. We will still need to pray about that. The little girl we wanted to adopt, whom I referred to as "A" is doing good with her current foster family and is spending lots of time and bonding with her bio-mom.

September, here we come

One more month to go!

We had a doctor appointment yesterday and had another ultrasound, but the pictures did not turn out sad to say. So, no cute 3-d ultrasound pictures to post. Luckily we will be seeing our Carlee soon and have some wonderful pics from before.

Our visit went good. Carlee is still growing good. My hope was that she was under 6lb and she was! They estimated her weight at 5lb 15oz. We had our first fetal monitoring done and she did great, her heart beat stays around 150-160 for the most part, it accelerated some, up to 190's and down to the 120's. My doctor said this is normal and what they were looking for. I will go in for fetal monitoring weekly from here on out. Then if I am still pregnant in about a month, they will do another ultrasound to see how she is doing. I'm assuming to see how big she is then and access whether or not I need to be induced early or have a c-section. Hopefully neither of the two will be necessary. The gestational diabetes is going OK. I am now on insulin as of this week. I don't like giving myself a shot in the belly, but I'm getting used to it.

Carless and I got her crib put together last night.

It took a while and lots of bickering on who was right, but in the end we have a great looking crib for Carlee.

Carless put the dresser together all by himself and I put the changing table and glider together. It was fun getting everything set up. I don't have the room arranged exactly how I like it, but for now this will do.

The next pictures were taken by my cousin Summar. She took several good pictures. I just picked a few to post.

34 weeks

2 more months to go....maybe :)

Carlee

Today we had a visit with the doctor and got some really nice 3-D pictures of our "Little One" or should I say "Big One"! They estimated her weight at 4lb1oz! If she grows at the normal rate, 1/2lb per week and goes to term she will be at 9lbs. Oh my goodness. I really thought I would have small babies, guess I was way wrong. The good news is that she is healthy and growing, we couldn't be happier. She is already head down and moving around contantly. Mom says she was showing off yesterday at the pool. She was twisting, turning, flipping, and sticking out everywhere. Wish I had a video camera for times like that.

30 weeks gestation

The bad news is that I have been diagnoses with Gestational Diabetes. That is why our beloved Dr. Fraser has come back into our lives. I had a feeling this was coming, since my sugars were high with Caelyn. I wasn't diagnosed GD with her, due to her small frame and no worries of having a big baby. For those of you who are unfamiliar with gestational diabetes, it occurs in about 5% of all pregnancies and is usually caused by the pregnancy hormones. What I learned yesterday in my class was that the hormones attach to the insulin, thus blocking the sugar from getting into the cell. So, I have lots of sugar running through my veins, unable to get into my cells because the hormones want to get in the way. This is also one of the reasons why I am so extremely tired! The others are my anemis and just being pregnant. Now I don't feel so bad for being tired (or lazy like I thought I was). This usually occurs in the last trimester of pregnancy and can cause a rather large baby if not controlled. Also it is something that I couldn't control, says my doctor. It is just the way my body responds to being pregnant. So, for like the last month Carlee has been getting an abundance of sugar making her a bit bigger. Let's hope she stays under 9lb please, I don't want a c-section and I want her to be heatlhy!

What does gestational diabetes mean for me? Well, basically I just have to eat a well balanced diet, 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. Well balanced meaning with fat, protien, and carbohydrates in each meal or snack. Then I have to check my sugars 4 times a day. The poking of my finger isn't fun, but the finding out what my sugar level is, is quite fun. I want to check everyones to see what level they are at. If my sugars don't go too high, then I will not have to go on insulin. So, lets hope not. Then I go back to see Dr. Fraser again for another ultrasound in about a month, so he can see how we are doing. In the mean time I will be reporting my sugar levels to his office weekly. I hope I get to share some more pictures of Carlee for you then. Now I will leave you with a cute picture of Carless practicing holding a baby with our cat Skip. (hehe!)

Skip thinks Carless is the best!